This is Just a Test

By- Traci Taylor
November 2017

Walking out on that fresh cut, green grass
that instantly takes you back
to childhood
or the childhood
you choose to remember
the rest you’ve blocked out
for sake of sanity

People tell you when you are older
if you’ve still got that glimmer of hope in your eye
to “never lose that spark”
what does that even mean
And when did they lose that spark
to remember how important it is not to

Every day I wake up
I feel the weight of the world
and still I feel nothing
I want to understand everyone
because it is easier than trying to understand myself

Three years to thirty
and I haven’t shaken the angst
I always swore city lights and skylines
would break me from this mold
that a small town shaped me in

One day
that always seems to be the answer
even when I don’t remember the question

So I let my mind drift
back to the time when I let
the smell of fresh baked cookies
outweigh the screams
and the loud crashes
that used to be my lullaby

Because it is not where we came from
or where we are going
that matters
it is where we stand in the moment
how we act and react

remembering everything that built us
or broke us
was just preparing us
for the test of kindness
in the darkness of hate

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Building a Forest

By- Traci Taylor
September 2017

There is no beauty
in a forest built by human hands
How can that exist
on a broken plank

I ask you all to guide me
walk the love you feel
through a river that flows the other way
breath in the uncertainty
that this life holds for all

Tomorrow means nothing in grief
our fate is put into question
the sun rises in every horizon
yet loved ones rise with hollow hearts
and swollen eyes

Look around
gravity holds us here
the woods contain our secrets
the clouds know our desires
yet it is the sun that determines our day

Dark Star

By- Traci Taylor
January 2017

Circling around and around
expecting the same result
without changing a step
learning that’s how hearts
are broken

Choosing to continue on
is the story of a true warrior
that finds hope even
when the world feels dark
and your soul feels lost

Reaching so far out
that your body loses control
and you almost slip off the ledge
that leads you back to the place
where you feel weighted down
too broken to exist
questioning how people find the sun
when all you feel is rain

Speaking in metaphors
and broken sentences
is sometimes easier
than speaking the words
that grow deep-rooted,
full of gloom in your mind

Still desiring to loath the cynics
but the surrounding world
is making it hard for a romantic
to hold out for the hope
that once burned so brightly within

Dreamers march on
believing that the sun will rise again
and the darkness they feel will fade
the real heroes in this lifetime
are the ones who still believe in love
even in a world full of hate

Left Turn

By- Traci Taylor
January 2017

Loss of the familiar
contains the power
of breaking the routine of sanity

Strolling down the empty street
nostalgia rushes through the veins
deep breaths smell of salty ocean water

In the here and now of adulthood
troubles of childhood seem distant
nothing is visible through closed doors

A left turn around the same block
that used to bring comfort
now feels like the wrong step
to a nonexistent home

Holding out
still believing
there is purpose in the journey

The destination
is only worthwhile
if the steps were taken
with lighthearted gratitude

Heart of Serenity

By- Traci Taylor
December 2016

Blank space
gives way
to an ocean
of turquoise

Open hearts
that were surrounded
by steel gates

The silver key
unlocks the entry
to a path
paved with uncertainty

One day the map
will lead
to the treasure
that was buried
but forgotten

Trying to make sense
of scrambled
thoughts
and feelings

Sorrow
and loss
are part of
this journey

Take my hand
and guide
me to
the serenity
I lost
along with
my heart

Two Way Reach

By- Traci Taylor
December 2016

Cursed a dreamer
by luck of
believing

Holding on
to the ledge
of hope
that true love
isn’t a myth

Tripped up
one
too many
times

Fallen up
into clouds
then down
into a ditch

Resilience
of belief
there is a pot of gold
at the end
of the rainbow

But recalling
the words
of wisdom
once told

to not be
the only one
who does
the reaching

A Hug In a Photograph

By- Traci Taylor
December 2016

When pictures
make the people
we love
come alive

Distant memories
of a time
where sadness
was merely
a skinned knee
soothed by Bactine

At a loss
for words
when not even
time
can heal the wound
felt deep in the pit
of a stomach
empty of feeling

Darkness of twilight
warm my lonesome self
with the sweet smell of home
wrapped up in yesterdays

The leaves change
to colors of golden amber brown
almost has the mind
forget the loss it has felt
since the sun set
in soft pinks
and cold baby blues

Making the heart
erase the reality
of photographs

The only time
I can feel
hugged
by your smile