This is Just a Test

By- Traci Taylor
November 2017

Walking out on that fresh cut, green grass
that instantly takes you back
to childhood
or the childhood
you choose to remember
the rest you’ve blocked out
for sake of sanity

People tell you when you are older
if you’ve still got that glimmer of hope in your eye
to “never lose that spark”
what does that even mean
And when did they lose that spark
to remember how important it is not to

Every day I wake up
I feel the weight of the world
and still I feel nothing
I want to understand everyone
because it is easier than trying to understand myself

Three years to thirty
and I haven’t shaken the angst
I always swore city lights and skylines
would break me from this mold
that a small town shaped me in

One day
that always seems to be the answer
even when I don’t remember the question

So I let my mind drift
back to the time when I let
the smell of fresh baked cookies
outweigh the screams
and the loud crashes
that used to be my lullaby

Because it is not where we came from
or where we are going
that matters
it is where we stand in the moment
how we act and react

remembering everything that built us
or broke us
was just preparing us
for the test of kindness
in the darkness of hate

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Building a Forest

By- Traci Taylor
September 2017

There is no beauty
in a forest built by human hands
How can that exist
on a broken plank

I ask you all to guide me
walk the love you feel
through a river that flows the other way
breath in the uncertainty
that this life holds for all

Tomorrow means nothing in grief
our fate is put into question
the sun rises in every horizon
yet loved ones rise with hollow hearts
and swollen eyes

Look around
gravity holds us here
the woods contain our secrets
the clouds know our desires
yet it is the sun that determines our day

Blooming of Enlightenment

By- Traci Taylor
August 2017

Trace your steps backwards
try to connect the dots
the universe has set us on a journey
that leads us to a destination

There are hills of struggle
when isolation feels permanent
even in a crowded room

My soul was lost
for over 900 days
even on a path I knew
like the back of my hand

But I pulled myself up
that October morning
and I’ve been learning
the reasons why
I was meant to see November

Virginia Woolf once wrote
that with age she realized
spring is more rewarding
than the fall

As the flowers bloom
and the birds chirp
I am understanding how
a heart can grow just as the roses

Dark Star

By- Traci Taylor
January 2017

Circling around and around
expecting the same result
without changing a step
learning that’s how hearts
are broken

Choosing to continue on
is the story of a true warrior
that finds hope even
when the world feels dark
and your soul feels lost

Reaching so far out
that your body loses control
and you almost slip off the ledge
that leads you back to the place
where you feel weighted down
too broken to exist
questioning how people find the sun
when all you feel is rain

Speaking in metaphors
and broken sentences
is sometimes easier
than speaking the words
that grow deep-rooted,
full of gloom in your mind

Still desiring to loath the cynics
but the surrounding world
is making it hard for a romantic
to hold out for the hope
that once burned so brightly within

Dreamers march on
believing that the sun will rise again
and the darkness they feel will fade
the real heroes in this lifetime
are the ones who still believe in love
even in a world full of hate

Painting with Words

By- Traci Taylor
January 2017

The calming rhythm
of leaves falling
losing their picturesque golden browns
at the end of autumn
on the cusp of a frigid winter

Nighttime paints the sky
the darkest color of blue
midnight strikes
and only the moon is left to lighten the sky

Within life
lives are influenced by strangers
who pass us by in moments
that expand sometimes into years
time isn’t the determination
of how deep their footprints impact

Standing still
on the horizon of a warm spring evening
surrounded by blossoming flowers
that grow like a metaphor for hope
with all of their colors of the rainbow

Nature is the writer’s
can of paint
waiting
to place feelings stuck
in an overactive mind
soon to be formed
into words that project feeling

Heart of Serenity

By- Traci Taylor
December 2016

Blank space
gives way
to an ocean
of turquoise

Open hearts
that were surrounded
by steel gates

The silver key
unlocks the entry
to a path
paved with uncertainty

One day the map
will lead
to the treasure
that was buried
but forgotten

Trying to make sense
of scrambled
thoughts
and feelings

Sorrow
and loss
are part of
this journey

Take my hand
and guide
me to
the serenity
I lost
along with
my heart

Unknowingly

By – Traci Taylor
November 2016

A longing for that sense
of comforting emotion

No longer is its frequency
surrounding like walls
of a once familiar room

Days pass that often
feel like centuries

Yet no change has occurred
the insides of my soul
still feel shattered

With plenty of missing
pieces of glass

The pen continues
to flow on paper
but no text has yet to appear

Every hour leads to question
distinctly knowing there’s no answer

Waiting for golden ocean eyes
with a heart of porcelain
to gaze into the broken glass mirror
and repair the promised impossible