By: Traci Taylor
Short fictional story January 2014
Repressed feelings and hopeful thoughts are the poison of my existence. More so than ever I am beginning to think my life is a cycle of events played out by different characters each time. Then I look internally and realize I am the one who pulls the trigger to my misery. It is like I am drawn to situations where I know I will fall to pieces at one point.
I still haven’t figured out why I am wired this way. If I could trade places with a coldhearted person just for a moment, I would. My defenses are always up and the facade of a tough exterior shields people from the soft core of my soul.
The search to define myself is never ending. A long and winding road is what I travel on metaphorically in my life. Ever since my youth I have been on a journey. The type of journey that has me overcoming what seems like impossible obstacles. My stepping stones in life are an accumulation of the multiple people who have had major, but mostly minor impacts in my life. It leads me to wonder what exactly is permanent. What makes something permanent, or better yet, what can make a person actually bear to be around another human after they have exposed themselves.