Fallen a part.

By: Traci Taylor
Written in 2011, edited in 2012

I look to my left. Nothing. I look down and begin to realize what exactly happened the night before. It takes a lot of recollection to even fathom the events. It is hard to believe I have woken up naked on this couch every morning for the past week or two. My life was never at this rock bottom, for a consistent time at least. I would blame it on the drug addiction and alcohol problem but I usually consider that an addicts easy way out instead of pin pointing the real issue.
Truth is, this past year I have done some self realization. None of that Buddhist or any other religious bull shit. Just regular inner thoughts and self coping. I think what I discovered about how fucked up my life actually is drove me to try to self medicate. Not that I am saying that is acceptable, it is just the route I took. I can barely look my own family in the eyes. They have no idea how bad everything has fallen a part in the past couple of months. The only people that really know are a few buddies of mine. Truly they don’t even know the details of every story though. The majority of things that I experience in my life I feel too embarrassed to even admit to my best friend.
Self disclosure aside- I am still trying to piece together last night. It all started with a phone call from this chick I had been trying to get together with for awhile. We met up for a drink or five. My memory is a bit shaky. I remember the bar and the first few drinks. For that time span I remember picturing how sexy she would look once I convinced her to spend the night at my apartment. With my charm I would assume that is how it went down. Confidence aside, waking up naked also leads me to believe that is true. Considering my weed stash seems incredibly low I know smoking was involved.

SIDE NOTE: The story wasn’t doing anything for me- I started it and didn’t continue. The beginning of it I cherish so I wanted to post it among my portfolio.

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